How To Handle The Syndrome Common To Empty Nesters

By Robert King


A parent's main goal is to raise their children to one day leave home and become responsible, productive citizens. They go through many things, some right and some wrong, to achieve that goal. But, ultimately, when that happens, many parents dread the time. They do not relish becoming empty nesters. This just means their home is empty of children. Though is should be a happy time, it is not always that way.

Instead of feeling the emptiness and grief of a home without children, parents can take pride in their children. They are leaving home to start their lives, with the skills the parents have instilled into them. The parents can be proud that their children have the knowledge and responsibility they have been taught. They can look forward to the successes the children are going to enjoy.

If you are feeling this deep sadness, it is best to admit that instead of pretending all is well. You can be happy for your child and still feel a sadness and loneliness. Admit it and understand that it is normal. If the sadness becomes too bad, however, you may need to seek professional help for a period of time until the feeling passes.

Try to think back to things that you enjoyed before you ever had the first child. Many of these things have not been available to you since having children. You are free to now go back and do those things. If no longer enjoy them, find something else you do enjoy.

You can not pursue new things that are fun for you, and maybe a little on the dangerous side. It may be you always wanted to skydive or zip line. Now you can. You can start a new hobby. You are no longer responsible for a small child, so can do those things. Seek them out and do them with not guilt.

This is also a great time to pursue career goals. You may have had to postpone things that would help your career. Now is the time to do that, be it additional schooling, or travelling for work. You can even begin a new career if that is your desire. No family responsibilities are interfering in your doing these things if you want to.

Travel, which is so hard when you have children is now possible. You can travel across the country or even internationally, if you choose. RV living is also now possible. If retired, you have no time restraints. Keep you identification with you and you can qualify for special senior prices and programs. You have unlimited possibilities now, with no children to consider.

You are now free to downsize your home and live in different arrangement, either a swanky one, or a cheaper, smaller one. If you want to live on the beach, or in the mountains, or wherever, you are now free to do that, as you don't have to worry about being close to schools and doctors and such. You also don't need as large a house, so can get a more luxurious smaller one that may be something you have always wanted.




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